Thoughts from the Lifespan Program Director:

Learning and Growing Together
As People of Principle

Rev. Phillip Lund

During his keynote address at this year’s Annual Conference, the Rev. Peter Morales mentioned a statistic from “Faith Communities Today,” a survey of congregations representing over forty different faith groups in the United States. According to the survey, the one characteristic that most clearly distinguished smaller congregations from larger ones was this:

In response to the question, “How well does the statement ‘Our congregation is like a close knit family’ describe your congregation?”

• 38% of all congregations responded “Very or Quite Well” to the statement,
• 63% of the very small responded “Very or Quite Well” to the statement,
• 0% of large congregations responded “Very or Quite Well” to the statement.

Rev. Morales said he was concerned about this response because “churches where the answer is ‘yes’ have more trouble retaining new visitors. It may feel close-knit to members, but it feels closed to newcomers.” What concerns me about his response is that some people may interpret it to mean that family-like intimacy only happens in very small congregations.

Indeed, losing a sense of intimacy is one of the biggest fears associated with congregational growth. But that doesn’t have to be the case—healthy, vital congregations share similar features with healthy, vital families. Consider the following traits that healthy families have in common:

• Commitment to one another and a sense of connectedness with one another;
• Adequate time together, which is spent effectively in meeting family needs, working together, and in recreation;
• Effective communication and conflict management;
• Sufficient expression of appreciation and encouragement;
• Agreement on and competence in the fulfillment of the roles and responsibilities of family life;
• Shared spiritual life that gives meaning and purpose;
• Involvement in, support from, and contribution to their community and larger world;
• Positive family identity and shared life story; and
• Ability to cope with crises and developmental changes.

Now, read through these traits again, this time replacing the word family with the word congregational. I think this list describes both healthy, vital families and healthy, vital congregations. What it doesn’t describe, I believe, is the kind of family or congregation that Peter Morales warns us about, one that “may feel close-knit to members, but … feels closed to newcomers.”

Yes, family-like intimacy is an important part of congregational life—it’s what being a multigenerational community of faith is all about. And just as maintaining a healthy, vital family is no accident, neither is growing and maintaining a healthy, vital congregation. The good news is that none of us have to do this alone. Lifespan faith development programming is all about helping individuals, families, and congregations learn and grow together as people of principle.

So when we talk about congregations as families, rather than a close-knit family, I like to think of an extended family, a big, energetic, rollicking family, sharing all that life has to offer, laughter and tears, births and deaths, joys and sorrows, hellos and good-byes. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. To me, lifespan faith development means learning to be human … together. And it’s something we do in both our families and our communities of faith.

GA Covenant Groups

Covenant Groups are changing our congregations for the better, and they can do the same for your 2004 GA experience. This pilot program, limited to the first 750 who apply, will help people connect easily with others while offering a taste of how covenant groups can benefit their home congregations.

For more information go to www.uua.org. Then type in “GA Covenant Groups” in the “search our site” box.